When The Going Gets Tough
Posted on | April 2, 2010 | 6 Comments
It all happens to the best of us. You will be in a moment of your life where you are in a state of “flow”.
Flow (according to wikipedia): “is the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.”
You have a positive attitude, you are focused on your work/life and always motivated to get things done. No stress, no problems. You finally have control of your life and you feel things can only get better.
Sweet.
But then shit hits the fan.
It usually isn’t just one minor problem either. Well, it starts off that way. Then out of no where, negativity is hitting you with a big punch in the face. Moment after moment problems and situations keep piling up and seem to be getting worse. Your adrenaline starts pumping, anger levels start rising. Stress levels are as high as it gets. You can’t focus or think straight.
Many things can cause one to get stressed out. Crappy job, bills, economy, exams, relationships, friendships, family, taxes, car issues, dramatic changes in life, etc. There are a lot more on the list. One feels completely overwhelmed with everything. The state of “flow” is turned off and one enters a state of anxiety. At this moment, life pretty much sucks.
Then after being so tired of being angry, one enters the one state that really makes life feel like total hell.
Apathy.
Apathy(according to wikipedia): “is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation and passion. An apathetic individual has an absence of interest or concern to emotional, social, or physical life.”
So one has no feelings of emotion, desire, or motivation. One is simply just a walking robot with no drive.
Great.
I’ll be the first one to admit this. I have fallen into this state of hopelessness many (and I mean MANY) times. It is on my list of top five worst experiences.
In a state of apathy, one has very low skill and challenge levels. This is NOT something that is fun. Apathy is a killer to one’s success and enjoyment of life. If you have a lot of goals you want to accomplish, this will stall you in your tracks.
To get an idea of what I mean. Check out the chart below:
What To Do About It.
Some people never fall into this state and can deal with stress very well.
Others can not handle any degree of stress at all. As a kid I used to be one of these people (mind you I am still not perfect.) Over the years, I have discovered ways to handle stress a lot more efficiently.
1. Talk to someone who will listen and is positive. - What I DO NOT mean is call someone up who’s only response is going to be “lets get trashed”. While socializing and drinking alcohol can be fun, alcohol is a downer. It has been known to make people feel really depressed (and even angry).
What I do mean is call one (both would be better) of the following two types of people:
- Someone who has more knowledge and experience then you about life (or the situation). These people usually have some awesome advice that can make your day. It is always refreshing hearing from a good friend that “things are going to be fine, I went and dealt with this. Here is how I did it.” It can be anyone you want to talk to. A friend, brother, sister, cousin, or parents. It doesn’t matter. As long as the person is positive.
- A close person who knows you well enough that can make you happy. It is always good despite how bad you feel to have a good friend make you laugh. Friends like this are completely awesome. Get one!
Now if you know someone who is well experienced, intelligent, funny and a good friend; awesome! You are very lucky.
Who you want to avoid talking to is a person that will only be negative. This usually makes one’s perception on life worse. I’ve had my share of people like this and they were nothing but a waste of time.
2. Take a deep breath and relax. – A close friend of mine gave me some very good advice this week. He told me the best thing to do when times get rough is to “take a deep breath, relax and start dealing with situations one-by-one.”
This makes perfect sense, freaking out does not help solve the problem. Anxiety will cause us to try to fix a problem; but usually we will do things completely wrong. Calming down and thinking logically will go a long way. Life is obviously not easy and things are going to turn up whether we like it or not. The best way to handle it is in a positive state.
3. Go for a walk. – Instead of throwing your cell phone or punching the wall; go for a walk. Seriously, you will feel better after you are done. Exercise is a physiological stressor. Psychological stress causes one to have a physiological stress response. So while one is “heated up” hit the park or nature trail and get some fresh air. The last thing you want to do is not vent your stress (which isn’t healthy), but you don’t want to break your $400 iphone either.
A note regarding weight training and other physical activity. I personally find hitting the gym a great way to vent my stress. BUT the issue with free weights for certain people is that they perform poorly under lots of psychological stress. The last thing you want to do is put on some heavy weight for deadlifts and injure yourself. If you know you can’t perform well when really stressed out, then go for a walk instead. If you are someone who is well experienced and can perform great, then go for it. (I obviously mean this in the context of one’s training schedule. I DON’T mean to go lift at any random time.)
4. Go out and have fun. – This might be somewhat hypocritical depending on the context. Going out and getting trashed with the wrong people like I had said will usually not help. Now if you can gather a group of the right people to be around, then do it. Go out to the movies, the beach, the city, etc. Do something fun. Being around positive friends and family will help take your mind of things. Human beings are social creatures, so be social.
5. Listen to music. – In my experience (and I’m sure everyone can agree here), music is like therapy. Putting on the right song can help one relax and calm down. Certain types of music can help one “vent” as well. If certain songs will make you feel worse, avoid them.
6. Read. - When calm, reading can be a great way to get your mind off things. Read a novel that is exciting or read a non-fiction book that is interesting. Also since this is 2010, reading the right blogs can have a big impact as well. A friend of mine has written a great article about big changes in life that I feel EVERYONE should read.
Another good friend of mine has an awesome blog about his life experiences you should check out. His blog is entitled, “Coffee Through A Straw.”
Well I hope the above points can help you get back to life. Are there any other points that can help?
Comments
6 Responses to “When The Going Gets Tough”
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April 2nd, 2010 @ 3:33 pm
Good stuff, Jon. I, too, like to rid myself of stressors by taking long walks all by myself. truly helpful.
April 2nd, 2010 @ 4:05 pm
Thanks for the shout out. By the way, being apathetic just makes everything seem so bland. I love it.
April 2nd, 2010 @ 4:19 pm
JC: Yeah, long walks are the best.
Mike: No problem brother. Well in your context, it might be a good tool for your writing. But for me, apathy just blows.
August 1st, 2010 @ 2:12 pm
When The Going Gets Tough : Celiac Bodybuilding…
Sometimes life hits us hard and we loose our motivation. This stress can prevent us from achieving our goals at times.This article has some tips explaining how we can get our drive back. – Jon…
August 2nd, 2010 @ 10:51 pm
Glad I found this… some good work. Btw Jon, your site is white as HELL. IMO, some color round here will do you good.
Cheers,
August 3rd, 2010 @ 12:53 pm
Haha, yeah this site is still under-massive-construction.
Thanks for the feedback FJ.